Singleton + Writer + Book Lover + Moviegoer = Screen Spinster

Welcome to the loneliest blog on the web. I have no words of wisdom to espouse. (why does espouse sound so much like spouse? Is that word trying to rub it into my spinster brain?) Anyway, I don't own a cat. Never will. I don't cook, nor do I sew or knit, but I do spin a yarn (tale) from time to time. I have no domestic talents, I am not a domestic engineer/goddess, nor do I want to be. I'll sometimes post my views on scripts, (mine & yours or theirs) movies, television shows and maybe theatre, along with my own musings usually in the style of a poem. So pull up a rocking chair, sit back as your cherry pie bakes and stay a while if you like.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Book Review: Charmed Thirds by Megan McCafferty


Jessica Darling is going to Columbia no matter what her parents say, even if she's dead broke by the end of her 4 years there. Jessica is as neurotic as ever and still struggling through the ups and downs of young adult life.

Jessica excels in her classes, but she's unsure as to what she's going to do with a degree in psychology since she doesn't want to be a doctor.

Again this story is about character rather than plot. And thankfully Jessica is still a likable yet flawed protagonist, which makes her all the more endearing and real. I love her sense of self because half the time she has no idea what she's doing or feeling. I can most certainly relate. No matter how old one gets, we're always evolving and questioning where we are and who we are. It's natural. I just wish we could all do it with sarcastic wit like Jessica does.

I will say that, at times, I wanted to wring her neck for her stupid choices, but if she didn't make those stpid choices then I wouldn't enjoy her so much.

I've picked up Book 4 (there are 5 altogether) and I look forward to seeing where she goes in her 20s.

8/10
A-

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

These Women Rock!

Photo removed due to me not wanting to get sued.

Amy Poehler and and Kristen Wiig are funny, smart, writers, performers and seem to be a girl's girl. They have each other's backs and support their fellow sistas! And I, for one, love them. I secretly imagine that we're all besties and that I make them laugh on a regular basis (and not because I walk into glass doors). Do you have gals like this in your life? If not, get on it!

Monday, April 23, 2012

Book Review: Second Helpings by Megan McCafferty



My love affair with Jessica Darling continues as she finishes up her senior year at Pineville High. And what a year for our protagonist. She gets a boyfriend who now has clear skin! She quits the track team and the school paper, which is her mini rebellion. She hasn't lost any of her sarcastic wit or dry sense of humor as she navigates her way towards adulthood.

Second Helpings, like Sloppy Firsts, is a character driven novel. And when you have a flawed, but likable and relatable protagonist the journey is worth the read.

Jessica has to figure out which college she is going to attend, but despite her forthrightness, she is scared. She's scared of the big city. She's scared of life outside of Pineville. All the colleges she applies to are secluded and isolated, so there's no real danger. That is until she gets the idea from her former crush that NYC is the place to be. But NYC in a post 911 world is an even scarier thought. But deep down, Jessica knows that she's meant to think big.

But before college can happen, Jessica has to get to graduation and prom where the ever annoying and frustrating Marcus Flutie await her. Jessica's love for Marcus is so deeply hidden that she won't or can't admit it to even herself until the last possible moment. Jessica thinks she'll die a virgin, but will she? Then again don't all teenage girls who have fairly good self-esteem and exceed in academics think that?

I can't wait to read Jessica's story as she heads to college. I'm sure it'll be full of angst and inner turmoil and lots of humor. I'm picking up Charmed Thirds today at the library. Why write when I can procrastinate and read this instead?

A
8 out of 10

Movie Review: Lockout is a F*%kup


Where to begin? How about I begin with the fact that my friend and I laughed out loud during this whole movie. We got the giggles early on and couldn't stop. So for that I am grateful for this movie going experience because I had a great time with my friend watching a horrible, horrible movie on screen.

Lockout is about this guy, Snow (Guy Pearce) who is a CIA operative in the future who gets framed for something and then within a matter of days he's convicted, but then a deal is made and he can get out if he goes into space to rescue the President's daughter (Maggie Grace) who is being held hostage on a prison space station. The premise is ridiculous, but what makes the movie even more ridiculous is the fact that everything is a coincidence. Most movies are given the allowance of one coincidence to get a plot rolling, but this one is riddled with them. This happens so that that can happen, etc. But none of it makes any sense.

So these prisoners are in a pilot type of project where they are put into stasis. The President's daughter goes up there on a humanitarian mission to check on their status. So these men who've been asleep for days, weeks, months or years break free, but don't experience any physical illness? Some wake up and immediately begin rioting. One prisoner who was put to sleep for about a day develops dementia while others are fine? There is no logic in any of it. And yes, sometimes action packed dick fests need to have some kind of logic.

Guy Pearce does his best as the wise cracking anti hero, but he ain't no John MacLean (Die Hard). The dialogue is laugh out loud funny (in a bad way). There is not one moment of subtext. Everything said is on the nose. The villains (one of which is barely understandable with his thick Scottish brogue) are one dimensional. And are never really realistic as villains. Too cartoonish in their nature. They kill a lot, but even the killing is just so over the top stupid.

The movie is terrible. Save your money. But I do have to admit again that I enjoyed myself that evening due to busting a gut. But don't be fooled as this film is going to be on my Top Ten Worst films of the year. I think I will love to mock this film for months to come.

D+
5.6 out of 10.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Movie Review: The Cabin the Woods aka stick to the city kids!


A weekend getaway. 5 young people (5 archetypes if you will). Sex. Drugs. And Beer! The perfect set up for blood and mayhem.

The Cabin in the Woods is a film best enjoyed if you don't know much going into it. So I'll keep this review spoiler free by making myself the focal point of this review.

I am a Joss Whedon fan and he's the reason why I went to see this film. The only reason really as I don't much care for horror films. The dialogue is classic Whedon, sarcastic and witty with lots of humor. I laughed out loud quite a few times. I also had to grab my boyfriend's hand a couple of times when I was worried that the horror would be too much, but it never really was. Sure there's guts and blood, but the premise and the dialogue are really what the story is all about.

If you're a Whedon fan you'll enjoy seeing some of the actors from Whedon's tv shows (I won't say who or what roles they play) and even if you're not well versed in the Whedon lore, there's enough bloodshed and laughs to keep you content.


7.8
B+


The film is Cowritten by Whedon (along with its directorDrew Goddard)

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Movie Review: The Raid Redemption


I heard about The Raid back in September when it played at TIFF, but it wasn't on my list of films to see then. So fast forward several months later and it's opened here in the city for the general population. And I, for one, am glad it received distribution. What a hella ride!

A SWAT team becomes trapped in a tenement run by a mobster and his gang of ruthless killers. The movie opens with one cop, Rama, played by Iko Uwais, going about his morning routine, which involves prayer and then jumps to the SWAT team as they gear up to storm the tenement. What they don't know is that they're on their own in this endeavor and that there won't be any kind of backup. And man! Do they ever need backup. They get picked off one by one. Eventually there are only a handful of survivors and now they're trapped inside this building as the gang members search for them to finish them off with their machetes.

We follow Rama as he helps an injured cop to safety. And Rama isn't some regular cop. This guy is schooled in the martial arts and man his fists can fly! When we're not following Rama we get to see Jaka (Joe Taslim) try to find his way out of this mess as well. Jaka is a senior police officer and he's not leaving without any of his men.

This movie is an action packed, fist flying, blood spewing adventure (to say the least). The plot is fairly simple, which is perfect for this kind of film. This film is about the fighting. Having it take place in one location makes the fight sequences pop off the screen. The editing is top notch and every blow is felt and heard. These guys are dancers in a way. The way they choreograph each punch and chop is rhythmic and fast. It's beautiful to watch. There is also some blood with lots of machetes and knives going through jugulars, guts and legs. At times I had to look away, but that doesn't really work as the sound of bones breaking is far worse than actually seeing it.

I really enjoyed this film. It was a lot of fun. The audience was packed with men. Of course! But I have to say that women should go see this with their boyfriends because Joe Taslim is great as Jaka and he is damn hot! He is my new crush and I've already cleared it with the boyfriend that he is now on my list! (Ladies, you know what list I'm talking about)

8/10
A-.

Note: The film is from Indonesia and has subtitles. But don't be afraid of foreign films. Those tend to be the best ones. And let's just say this film is more about action than dialogue anyway.