Singleton + Writer + Book Lover + Moviegoer = Screen Spinster

Welcome to the loneliest blog on the web. I have no words of wisdom to espouse. (why does espouse sound so much like spouse? Is that word trying to rub it into my spinster brain?) Anyway, I don't own a cat. Never will. I don't cook, nor do I sew or knit, but I do spin a yarn (tale) from time to time. I have no domestic talents, I am not a domestic engineer/goddess, nor do I want to be. I'll sometimes post my views on scripts, (mine & yours or theirs) movies, television shows and maybe theatre, along with my own musings usually in the style of a poem. So pull up a rocking chair, sit back as your cherry pie bakes and stay a while if you like.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Movie: SKYLINE. Contender for Worst film of the Year


I wonder how such an obvious straight to dvd film makes it to the big screen. I wonder because the plot is thin, the acting bad, the pacing even worse, and the dialogue (the little that was) atrocious. As in really really unbelievable bad, and laughable. The saving grace, I suppose and why it's in theatres and not on rental shelves, is that the production value looks quite high. The alien ships look great, the weird vapor blood thing that happens to a human when they look into the light looks realistic and the space alien/monsters look great and scary.

One might ask why would I go and see such a film. I had a two for one coupon (so it was cheap) and I was in the mood for something bad, so I went in with no expectations. I also liked the first teaser trailer, thought it was really good and did a fine job of setting up the intrigue. The second trailer was terrible, and hinted at how bad it would actually be. Oh, and an added bonus was that we were the only two in the entire cinema so we got to talk back to the screen and each other and laugh really loud at the stupidity of the dialogue.

The basic plot, and I can't stress enough how basic it is, is aliens come down and start taking people. We follow a group of friends, who really don't know much about nor do we really care, so when people start getting beamed up, who the hell cares, right? We don't really know what's going on as we wouldn't know if we were the characters and this was happening to us, so I understand why the writers chose to do that, but when you have characters who are pretty much nameless then we have no vested interest in rooting for them. I was actually rooting for the aliens and why not! Ultimately, we realize that the aliens are taking humans for our brains (I think they'd skip out on Sarah Palin) and use them as fuel or something. Whatever, doesn't much matter. The thing that gets me though, was if these aliens who traveled light years to get into our solar system and are here only for our brains because they need it as energy/gasoline etc. then how the hell did they make it all the way out here in the first place? And how would they know our brains would work for them? Anyway, there's a silly ending up in the bowels of the mothership involving pregnant women and a brain that remembers. Let's just say that if we get invaded, we're all screwed!

The film stars, and use the word stars loosely, a bunch of television actors, some looking worse for wear. Brittany Daniel has not aged well, and I hate being mean, but, oh, who am I kidding! She looks ragged and haggard and bloated and tanned and it makes me realize just how old I have become and makes me think, do I think this ratty? Sigh. Back to the cosmetic counter!

I've just done some research and now I know why the film looked good because all involved are known for special effects, not directing or writing. Makes sense. But It's kind of annoying because movies need to have something more than flash. And as a writer, it's just another shot to the heart.

3 comments:

  1. I stopped reading when I got to the utterly gratuitous shot at Sarah Palin. It's a sure sign of someone whose own intelligence is limited to smug, mean-spirited, leftist cliches.

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  2. Posting anonymously is a cop out, which shows just how mean spirited and ignorant and scared you really are. Oh, and get a funny bone. By the way, knowing that Palin lacks intelligence isn't leftist at all. Sigh.

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  3. Agree with ScreenwritingSpinster; posting under 'Anonymous' in the already incredibly anonymous medium that's the internet is the act of a braindead eunuch. And I wouldn't expect any more from someone actually defending Sarah Palin. Any time Palin travels abroad (which would be every time she steps onto her porch to get a glimpse of Russia) the mean IQ of the U.S. goes up double digits. But that's not even the point - grow a spine. And a funny bone. And don't use too many big words in a posting; I'm sure you've overshot your quota for the year.

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